Where did all the cool kids go?
You're only cool if you're in a kult. My kult. My very own kult. It's been a life long dream of mine to have a loyal faithful following, at least pertaining to my writing, and so I've decided to take further action and go ahead and for my own kult wherein I am the kult leader and my loyal followers are the Kosmic Kultist. It's a win-win situation, ya see, because I get what I want and they get a super-rad name like Kosmic Kultist! Ya gotta say it like you're announcing a cool superhero, KOSSMIIIC KULTIST. Trust me, it'll grown on you in time.
Really. I'm only half-joking. The other half of me is off plotting diabolical schemes involving chickens, ducks and a possible cat. Don't worry, none will be hurt. I'm an animal lover. But you know what every kult needs right? No. Of course you don't because you're not the kult leader!
Allow me to explain to you, gather around, clothes are optional just keep private things to yourselves (for now.)
Ya see, what every good kult needs is a mascot! An animal mascot! That's why all those other cults failed (well, that and they spelled it with a 'C' which I'm declaring is not cool and won't win you any brownie points here!) Yes, that's right, the dear ol' Reverend Jones was too damn busy mixin his Kool-Aid (hey, see there's the 'K', he was halfway there!) when he should've been out making animal friends and or the very least dressing up one of his kooky followers in a bird suit or puppy dog with big floppy paws and called him The Jonestown Happy Bird or Jonestown Joy-Joy Puppy. Heck, I don't know what he would've called it--the man was fuckin' nutjob.
Of course there was Marshall Applewhite. This guy actually didn't need an animal mascot 'cause he
was the mascot for his own cult. If he did have an animal mascot--let's say Heavenly Hare--even the mascot would be sayin, "Dude! You're eyes are creepy as fuck!"
Aight, so here's what I'm thinkin:
Clyde The Cock
Yes. Clyde the Cock, mascot of the Kosmic Kult. The first ever rooster kultist.
And he's got kickass superpowers, too. I don't know what they are yet but he's badass. In fact, he's already demanding to be called The High Cock of Kòk. --I even asked him what the hell is Kòk cause it sounds like a made-up word that would pronounced like 'cock' with a Jamaican accent and he explains to me telepathically (that's one of his powers) that it's his homeworld and it's not really called Kòk, but that's as close as our non-gallinaceous tongues can get to even remotely comprehending the intricate linguistics of the trans-galactic poultry. And me, well, I was like, "Man, that's cool" cause he's a telepathic rooster and I ain't go reason to think he'd make shit like that up. Plus, he's graciously accepted the position of The Head Cock in the Kosmic Kult so I don't want to piss him off.
And Phase One Is Complete . . .
Phase One of establishing this homebase for the Kosmic Kult has been completed. Soon more cool stuff will be added, even official Kosmic Kult Bibles. Until next time, kneel to the cock!
If you have any suggestions for supernatural cosmic powers that you think would fit Clyde The Cock please mention them below!
